Let's be honest with ourselves for a minute: You are a facebook stalker. But when it comes to social networks that let you stream your daily occurrences (i.e. status updates) on a News Feed that's visible by you and your 893 friends, who isn't? It's very common. How could it not be when you are exposing yourself to the world? The world being your "friends." All 893 of them.
My fellow facebook creepers, for the sake of not being labeled as a psycho, there is a certain etiquette of stalking one should follow.
Number one: Don't randomly add and/or message people because you "think" you saw them somewhere.
Just because you've seen this person at the mall or in school, that doesn't mean that they want to be your friend. Especially on facebook. They're only going to see your friend request and say "Who the heck is Mike from x city, New Jersey?" You are a stranger and they don't want to talk to you. Facebook is not an icebreaker; although some of you who have resulted in a relationship because of facebook might disagree. Which further adds to the reason why you are a complete loser.
Example:
The other day, I received this special message from an unfamiliar name:
(Side note: "the other day" really was like 2 months ago in which also counts as "the other day" for Maria.)
Facebook stalker sent you a message.
Subject: Wh4ZZUp M0MMi!?
i tHinK i SAW y0OU aT tHe "x" MALL tHe 0ThER D4Y N i tH0GhT y0U W4S C00oOte! I SAW y0U 0N Mii FRiEND ShAY PAGE N Th0UGHt I Sh0Uld ADd Y0U N SAY WhAtZ GOo0DiE?!
Not only was that excruciatingly painful to read, it was a pure example of idiocy. I don't even know anyone named Shay. However, aside from you being a graduate at "x" high school, you also work at the mall you mentioned in your special note. On top of that, you work at "x" store where I purchased a pair of shoes that I paid with my debit card. You didn't "randomly" come across my page. You jotted my name down and in addition to you freaking me out, you also deterred me from ever going to that store again. Axxhole.
Number two: Don't mention to people that you don't talk to (i.e. acquaintances) that you stalk them on facebook.
The other day, I ran into someone I haven't talked to in a while and we briefly caught up. The conversation went something like this:
Facebook Creeper: Oh hey, Maria! I haven't seen you in 2 years! What's been going on?
Maria: Hey! I been good. School, Crew, and work. Same shxt, different day, you know? I just got hired at "x" place at the mall.
Facebook Creeper: Oh yeah, I saw your status update.
I haven't seen this person in two years.. Don't sneakily add the fact that you are keeping tabs/creeping on me on facebook.
Number three: Stop checking your ex's page!
Leave them alone. There's a reason you're not together! And stop commenting their pictures, activity, or liking their status! You are blatantly pointing out the fact that you are stalking them! Not in the rules of facebook stalking etiquacy.
Number four: You don't know me just because you see me on facebook!
I think people don't realize that they become scarily addicted to reading people's status updates. You don't talk to me in real life, don't comment on my facebook. Just because I was too lazy to block you, doesn't mean I don't think you are a creeper. And just because we like the same things and/or have the same interests, doesn't mean that I am your friend. Get off my page.
Number five: Stop freaking poking me!
I don't even know you, so why are you poking me? It only makes me think about the fact that you went through your list of friends, clicked on my name, possibly checked out my page, and clicked "Poke Maria Guillen" right under my picture. You're scaring me and I am not poking you back.
Number six: Who cares who is dating who?
This is facebook, not a tabloid magazine. Facebook is so popular for displaying broken relationships. And people are so obviously interested in seeing relationships fall apart via status updates. Although it might be a guilty pleasure of yours that no one knows about, you're still a stalker. If you are so interested in whose on-and-off again relationship is rapidly going down the drain, read a tabloid.
I'm obviously ranting.
Discussable question: Are you a facebook stalker? (Don't lie and say you're not. I have already established that we all are.) How so?
And feel free to add more facebook stalking rules! :)
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Well i don't have a facebook, so i would say i don't stalk people on facebook, I think a lot of people do stalk others on facebook but not everyone do. Some people don't see the point of doing that. However, i do know more people who would add people they don't know or won't leave their ex's alone. But it all depends on who the person is.
ReplyDeleteThis is true. Some people will add anyone just to get a new friend or even check up on the people they hate to get the inside scoop. Sometimes facebook users need to mind their own business but at the same time they are posting their life where hundreds of others can see it.
ReplyDeleteI definitely stalk people on facebook. Like creepy stalk. Like find out what you're doing that night so I can follow you. Just kidding. Or am I? No but, seriously, I think that facebook is a little too out in the open these days. I think people share too much of their lives then get mad when people know your business. It's not like I'm stalking every bodies status but hey, sometimes your personal business shows up in my status stream.
ReplyDeleteUghh i agree, i hate when people randomly add you on facebook just because they see you somewhere. It's annoying and they need to get a life. People do definately stalk others because they have nothing else to do. GET A LIFE !!!
ReplyDeleteMost of that is really true. Alot of people use it though as a way to tell somebody how they feel because they are too scaried to say it in person. But then again there are creepers like you said but some people like that.
ReplyDeleteI like #5... people stop poking me!!!! My page is getting sore. If we have 1 convo in our lives why do you feel the dier need to poke my page the minute I leave??? Give it a rest please
ReplyDelete